Librarian Experiment Part One

Man, those librarians are Cray-zay! Sorry, Sarah. Not necessarily your mother. I worked at the library today and did some undercover detective work. I am going to be fired. Can you be fired for volunteering? If you can, I am. Not any hard-core detective work, however; that will come later. All I did was look at their desks in the back room where I work. It is in the juniors section, so they have all these stuffed animals, but I have realized that librarians eat a large amount of chocolate. Seriously. There is a special drawer. Also, there was this laminated paper entitled, "Doctor Seus on Aging." I decided to read it to gain insight on the secret life of librarians. There were several horrific words in the poem that librarians should not have in their vocabulary. Only Abby has those words in her vocabulary. And my mother.

Teachers have crazy lives outside of school. My sister's best friend's mom is a teacher, and she gets Botox. I never think of teachers getting Botox. It isn't very teacher-y.

Your house does not smell strange. I can't exactly recall what it smells like, but I would remeber if it was bad.

Bodies are strange. Why do we have ankles? And does our skin dry out? What is with hair? And nostrils? Why wouldn't we just have one big hole in the bottom of our nose instead of two smaller (well, not in my case) ones?

My sister is studying International Business. I am not actually sure what this entails. I'm not positive she does either. It sounds smart, though, doesn't it. We are all very proud. I'll study abroad with you, Abby. How about Swaziland? I hear they have great engineering schools there.

Did you know Vivian Leigh was actually British? I think I heard that somewhere...she had to work forever to get the Southern accent down. I love Clark Gable. I think I would have liked to have his babies. Fred Astaire was a good guy. I don't think anyone could ever dislike Fred. He dances. How could you ever dislike a funny guy that dances? And Audrey Hepburn. Umm...my hero? I have read waaaaay too many books on Audrey Hepburn. It is slightly pathetic. I like Natalie Portman and Zach Braff, and Julia Roberts is classic.

New Hollywood Actors/Actresses:
1. Keira Knightley (I love Pride and Prejudice, Love Actually, and I can't wait for Atonement, in which she stars with James McAvoy, another favorite. You need to watch the preview on imdb.com if you have not seen it. AND she is dating Rupert Friend, whom I also loved in Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont)
2. Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line? and, okay, Legally Blonde? Pleasantville! Oh, I love Pleasantville! She seems like she would be fun to talk to...like she would enjoy eating ice cream)
3. Ryan Gosling (this guy is good in everything. Seriously. Lars and the Real Girl was fantastic, I liked Half Nelson, and I'm pretty sure everyone loved The Notebook).
My problem is that I mainly love people who have only been in like, one movie. William Moseley, anyone?

Old Hollywood (I'm doing four because you did four and I deserve four as well)
1. Audrey Hepburn (always and forever)
2. Gregory Peck (the most gorgeous man alive. He has such a great voice)
3. Ali McGraw (so the only movie I've seen her in was Love Story...she was a fantastic character)
4. Jimmy Stewart (such a nice guy)

And my five favorite objects that I own:
1. My cello. Duh. It is wonderful. The poor thing has gone through a lot in the past year and...eight, I believe, months.
2. My library card. Don't make fun. That has also gone through a lot of suffering.
3. My blanket. Speaking of going through a lot...man. I've never seen more holes in a poor baby blanket than there are in this thing. My sister used to call it my booger blanket. I never appreciated that.
4. My books. I can't choose one. Just my books.
5. My dog isn't a possession, is he? If he is, than he is definitely number five. If not, I am rather attached to the Frank Sinatra CDs.

Shredded lettuce is okay on tacos, I guess. But that is it. I don't think you have a bad grasp of what is too personal. People are too weird about remaining "mysterious". Why don't we all just speak what's on our mind? I guess I'm kind of being hypocritical too. It is no fun being judged for what you say or what you have done, so I guess that's why people don't necessarily bring it up when they first meet someone. You can't meet someone and automatically be all, "Well, here's my life story".

Of course I know Mary Lou. Remember? That is going to be me. I think that you should do something with people. I have never met someone so capable of handling conversations with random people. You make everyone feel happy, Abby, and you should use that to your advantage in whatever career you choose.

Shari Elf is basically my hero. She sings and she knits.
And her name is Shari Elf.
It really gets no better than that.