"This is part of a multipack."

Hm? That's on the side of my water bottle, and it made me smile. I don't really know why, I just think it's kind of funny.

I'm glad you bonded, aha. Very proud, indeed. I hope you did well tonight, and really, I'm sure you did.

I'm pretty tired too. Actually, I'm not really sleepy tired, just kind of tired. Worn out, I guess. Except not. I don't really know what I'm saying becuase I'm not worn out in any sense. I just feel tired? Oh, who knows.

I'm listening to this song called "Streamlined" by Slow Runner. It's so nice and soft and just kind of quiet. And I like that. I wanted quiet in a not silent way and I got it and I like it very much.

Thank you for the Webkinz, you have no idea how much I have bonded with it. I haven't registered it online yet. I have to think of a name, and a gender, aha. I just don't know. Help?

Christmas at the Zoo, ah, good times. For real. It's okay about the animals, really. I look them up on the zoo's website occasionally, so I'm good. I had my first train ride too. Extreme. It took awhile to get used to it, but really, I'm good to go on a train now. Just probably never front seat. It really was fun though. So many lights!

Despite the fact the fort didn't exactly stay up, it was a pretty good one, you have to admit. Good times. We will have to build another one. I've already got blue prints in my head.

I'm never really in the mood to shop. I just don't know what to get. I wear the same things a lot, and besides your vendetta with my Bradford Woods t-shirt, I don't have a problem with it. I never really think about clothes, or anything aesthetic, really. I guess I probably should.

Moulin Rouge was actually a good movie, and I did like it, really. Just because I don't like love or whatever that's about doesn't mean it wasn't a good movie. I liked it, so there.

Sense of who you are? How can you lose that? Really, it's the only thing anyone really has, is it not? And even though I may have no idea who I am, it's really undefinable, well, it's going to always be that way. I asked Memaw one time if age helped with anything, and she looked at me kind of odd but said "No, not really," and then we discussed where we were going to go eat that night, but that is not my point. Sure, when you are older, different things begin to matter and you are with different people and certain pressures aren't there and certain ones are, but really, I think we'll be asking just as many questions as we are now, just in a different way or a smarter way or whatever. Sure, a lot of things come with time, and I'm not saying at all eveyrone is always in the same rut, no, not at all. I'm just thinking that you never have a sense of who you are, you only have you.

Defending someone - I never really know what to do. When it comes to Emily, I can't help myself. I'm scared of what I would try to do if I ever saw anyone hurting her. She's my little sister and I just I've been there since day one, her birth is one of my first memories, really. And I remember Grumps (Treva's (Granny) husband) getting this yellow t-shirt that said "I'm the BIG sister," and it's kind of funny all that comes with that. But it's like, if I saw someone getting hurt, of course I would step in and say something, but then again, I'm just doing it for that person, because I hate seeing people get hurt. I never take in consideration if what is going on could be justifiable by either side, and someone is probably always going to say their side is what is right, but I can never understand that. But, like you said Auds, contradictions have to be made. They are always being made. To me, that's another point how I don't see how anything can be all the way right, or how anyone could know what is all the way right, just because there are always, always, always contradictions.

I don't have commitment issues, I just have, well, I don't know. I hate that people are always leaving and I guess it scares me a whole lot and I don't like that so I just don't like to be there when people leave, but, regardless of what I'd like, I am always around because I always believe something can change. You can't choose what you base your idea on love upon. I don't take that term lightly at all. The people that have left, it's like, you know, okay. It's like I meet someone, and the more I talk to them and get to know them (getting to know someone is such a personal process, really, manuals would be amazing, but that's half the fun, I suppose) and I make room. I shove my heart and push down my lungs and the whole time I'm telling myself "It's alright, you can breathe," and that extra space, that's for them, and you know it gets more and more comfortable and then all of a sudden it's all filled up, all that space you made, and really it's a good thing. And it's like that for awhile, and really, it's a nice thing. It's what keeps you coming back. Then, you feel a hole. And this hole starts getting bigger, coincidentally as your relationships with whoever these people are starting changing. And new people make more holes to fill, and old people fill there hole again, and all of them sometimes leave their holes clean, and what do you do with that. And a lot of times, when those holes are empty, it's a lot harder to breath and everything seems a lot harder. Me, I just wait for someone else to fill it up, I guess. And these relationships, I'm talking about everybody, friends, family, whatever else there is. I suppose that's all, maybe. It's all relationships.

If someone leaves, you know, you can leave with good feelings, I never meant it's always a harsh ordeal or whatever, I just think it's one of the worst things ever. Someone can still be great and have left. Two different things, I think.

Well, that is that.

I think I am going to go curl up in my bed and finish ol' Frederick. I'm about halfway through. It's really good. Ah, I love people's lives and all the different stories. It's just all so complex and intricate and connected but contrasting and just really, amazing.

You have a lot to reply to from the other post too! You don't have to if you don't want, though, of course. I understand. I tried not to make this one too long.

Off I go, and I hope you had fun at your aunt's house.