My feet are so cold.

I have been wearing my non-waterproof moccasins. Mistake number one.

My grandma's was so nice. She picked me up and we went to Don Pablo's, and it was so good. I had the Chimi De Oro, and nachos, and I'm really hungry if you can't tell. Then we went to her house and I didn't do much but just read and then we played Scrabble and I beat her and that was fun. Then I went to bed around 11! I woke up at about 11 (I think that is quite possibly the longest I have ever slept, but it was needed?) and we went to the mall and to Arby's (Ah, so good...) and then we went to the new Barnes and Noble. I love it, so so much. It simply has everything. I wish I could just buy everything. I would.

HAPPY MONTH ANNIVERSARY OF OUR BLOG, BY THE WAY! Forty-two is a magic number. Kind of like 2:19.

Ahah, I know how to spell 'wrestle,' thank you very much. That's just how you have to say it. Wressellll. Is it not fun? It is. You have to slur it too. Wrass-ull. That is how it should be pronounced, thank you. I'm glad it made you happy. I'll give you a full page of random doodles to look at when you get down.

I have a surprise for you tomorrow! :]

How are we suppost to know what our best is, though? I always feel like I can do better, because I can. It's just frustrating. I don't know. Like, I want to give my all into something but I have no idea what my all is? But I'm already so tired, but the things I'm putting my energy into aren't really what they need to be put into? I could be doing better but I don't know what that is? But I don't want to be doing better things because the things I do connect me with people and I love people? AGH! I do believe my bed time will become more routinely early.

Christmas should be wonderful. It means snow and sledding, which I absolutely love. It means more time with my family, who (whom?) I love. It means hopefully once again seeing my baby cousin, who I will love. It means everything is better for just a little bit and everyone's in a lot better of mood. It also means really good food. I think my mind will alleviate itself for just a little bit, like a week before Chrismas. I will make it.

Well, maybe my concerto will just change everything, aha. It's a possibility. Everything is always a possibility. I don't really like that, though. Gar. Anyways, I'm glad "Peach Plum Pear" gave you some idea. I am excited to hear the final product.

If I knew how to develop a filter to stop everything that was going to stress me out, you know I would. I don't know how to not let things get to me. That's just not, I don't know, it's just not me? I put myself out there, and while I believe that's what I'm suppost to do, I often regret it. I would love a break, Auds. I wish I could just lay in a warm bed and not think and sleep, but that will get me nowhere. I've got packs to move. Thank you, Kanye West.

Okay, I'll get a bowl cut and dye it bright highlighter orange. Somedays I can wear it in a pompadaur and look like Ronald McDonald's cousin. YOU WANT TO DYE YOUR HAIR?!? Well, maybe it's not your whole heard but still it's a streak and this excites me to no end. Oh, the possibilities! YOU COULD BECOME THE GIRL WITH THE PURPLE STREAK! What is this, Auds? Oh, Lord. :]

I may be doing well, but like McNeal said, she can't get scholarships with C's. Who wants student loans? I found out my friend got a four thousand student loan and didn't even go to school. He just bought cameras and a website and clothes. I couldn't believe it. Sometimes, I just, don't know. I want to get a scholarship though. I want to be good enough for someone to pay me to go to their school. I think that is, well, cool. Who knows.

I just made Strawberries'N'Cream oatmeal. It's a little dry, and a little weird tasting, but good. Well, actually, just filling. I forgot to go to Rally's, and while it isn't even 8 o'clock yet, I need enough gas for school tomorrow. Gas prices are my public enemy number one.

I am excited to see the play. I've got my whole family coming, ahah. My grandma is excited to see "that sweetie" (being you) as ragpicker. I don't understand where you get this name. I'm pretty sure in every story I tell you are pretty negative. Just kidding! But, really, she just thinls you are the bee's knees and will be coming to the play on Friday. AND THEN TREE TIME! Ah, I am so psyched.

I don't know who Margot is to be honest. I don't think she is in the band. There is a girl, but I'm not sure if she is Margot. Developed any preference yet?

Well, confidence can be a decieving thing. Certain people just totally break it off of me, some people build on it. It's all about who I'm with and where. It's weird. I'm fickle, aha. But, I'm loyal, so maybe that isn't the right word. Lord knows. Well, I don't know. I think the people that break off my confidence aren't so appealing anymore and I'm kind of drifting away from them, and I don't know if that is or isn't a good thing. Like, I kind of want to, so I can stand confidently on my own two feet, but who says when that'll be. I want to get better but when I'll be able to take them on who says anyone will just got running back to how things used to be. I need to get things figured out, but I don't have time to and it's frustrating. I just want people to be happy so bad, but I know I need to get myself together but I don't exactly knwo what I want or what will make me happy. Well, I do, but things are so hard. I am just going on and on and I would give you details but I don't excactly know where it all starts and where it started ending or even what it all is about. So. I am just kind of wondering/wandering.

Yeah, not needing a meaningful New Year's would be a good thing, aha. I don't know what I'm going to do.

The Kite Runner is really harsh. I wish I could say it gets better. Just don't be mad at me, okay? It really is such a good book though.

I made a To Do list, that I'm thinking I will start working on as soon as I get done with this blog. The first thing on the list is througholy (spelling) cleaning my room.

You aee, I don't believe there are bad people. I just believe there are bad doings.

I always look at this thing. I've probably read every entry three times? Maybe more? It's like a little book, ahah.

It is up to our generation, really. I've seen so many older people basically say we are screwed, but I truly believe we can do something. We have to.

I'm glad you wanted your family, aha. It's a good thing, Auds. I know exactly what it feels like. I came home today and my little sister wasn't home and I was so crestfallen. She is home now though. She gets so annoyed with me, but really, she just means so much.

Ah, Auds, I might take you up on that head rub on Friday. If the damned Writer's Guild would go back to normal, it could be even sooner, but no. Really, it's good to know you truly care, aha. I'm sorry if you weren't expecting to be taken up on this offer, but since I will be in your warm bed on Friday, might as well kill two birds with one stone.

You know? Then tell me, tell me all about it. I feel uneducated and lost and I feel like I don't know anything. But I should, because I've seen a lot. I feel a lot. But, no, I don't know nothin'.

I am now going to througholy clean my room.
I'll be driving to school tomorrow so I don't need to get up untill like 9. Weird.