Do-do-do-do-do-do Do Do Do, Do-do-do-do-do

I absolutely hate it when you put on headphones and are so ready to listen to music, but no song sounds right. Like, nothing fits your mood, and this gets annoying, because music is always supposed to suit the listener. There is always supposed to be at least one song, and I could not find one, so I kept going on shuffle for about twenty songs before becoming so frustrated that I shut my iPod off and sat in silence for a little bit. I tried again and found a song from "Broadway's Greatest Love Songs" that I liked.

Today, I went shopping with my mom and we met up with Alison. Then, when I FINALLY arrived home, Rachel and I left to go to Crawfordsville to meet up with her friend Anna. On the way home, we tried to listen to the "Women on Country Music" casette (she doesn't have a CD player) that we always listen to, but we couldn't get it to work, so we drove almost the entire way arguing over which side of the tape out favorite song was on. By the time we arrived home, it was dark, and we then left AGAIN with my dad, Katie, and Eileen for out annual day-before-Christmas Eve (though this year it was two days before) shopping adventure that doesn't include much shopping. It was nice, but I am very exhausted.

I'm never one hundred percent sure of any of my thoughts or opinions or facts that I thought I knew but won't share because I am afraid that I would be sharing the wrong knowledge with people and confusing them. It truly is horrible. I wish I knew that I was right sometimes.

Your obsession with life is insane, truly. It is quite fascinating, your pattern of analysis. Why would you hate loving something? If you love it, there has to be something in it that makes you happy, really. I don't believe those girls that put up with boyfriends that beat them because "they loved them". They can believe that they loved them, but they couldn't REALLY love them, I don't think.

Oh, lists. I just made a few, actually.

Sleep is one safe escape from the chaos of life for most people. For you, does it enhance your ordinary thoughts? That would be so weird. In third grade, I had a lot of trouble sleeping because I would lie in bed and have time to really think, unlike in regular life when you are busy doing other things. This led to my worrying about things and these stupid thoughts would keep me awake for hours until I talked to my art teacher and she told me she had the same problem and that I should write down all my worries as I was falling asleep.

Impossible.

We drove forever looking at Christmas lights, but it was really late and I kept drifting off to sleep. Plus, my dad has this horrible game of shouting "CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!" really loud each time we pass a house with lights up. I don't think you can imagine the horror until you have been by ten houses in a row decorated, at which he spares not one of the announcement.

If everyone acted more childish, the world would be a better place. When kids hear of the problems with the world, they are truly horrified and can't understand why things are going on they way they are. Adults don't know why either, but they accept it. Acceptance has to be possibly one of the worst things in the world, because it often means giving up. I am listening to some Spanish cello song and can't really think seriously; I just started laughing. This song is really long. Anyway, you should never, ever, ever, ever, ever want to stop asking questions because that leads to answers, which we all need every once in a while, and boundaries shouldn't even exist. My mom used to yell at me and tell me to grow up, but I think she realized that I was never going to, so she surrendered to my childishness. Don't grow up, Abby. It would make me so sad.

One hundred miles away? Do you happen to be in Chicago right now? Because otherwise, I am pretty sure it isn't quite one hundred. Bad estimation. And my poor grandmother. She's probably shocked at how she received me as a relative. My mother, ah. Craziness.

I don't think I can think about continuing the story at this moment. The Spanish song is still playing and making me laugh.

If we had a balance, we would all be the same, which is not interesting. Why live for anything if it isn't interesting? Though if we all cared, as we should, we would all be the same as well, which I guess I wouldn't mind as much then. I actually have no idea what I'm talking about right now.

As these troubled-but-slightly-hopeful thoughts filled the mind of the Ticketmaster, the Ragpicker found herself confused as well. If they let their love lead them, what were they to do in the future? What would bring the end, if not death? How would they live, with one of them thriving in the shadows of the law? What if the powerful love filled her like air so that she could breathe in nothing else, terrifying her as had happened those years ago? Eyes downcast, she was only connected to the Ticketmaster by clasped hands and the history that drew them together one again, as both had known it would, despite the attempts at trying to move forward.

filbert: the hazel or its nut

Every once in a while, this really weird feeling comes over me, and I have never been able to describe it. I don't think it is a positive one, however, but I am always able to recognize it. Do you have anything like this, like, is it something everyone has? Wouldn't it be so strange if we each had our own secret emotion that no one else knew about?

Happy Chrismtas Eve Eve! It weirds me out, slightly. It has all gone by so quickly. No need to sit outside waiting. My holiday won't be bad, hopefully, just stressful, as everyone is angry. Well, not everyone, but quite a few.

Oh, no, you cannot make a fort without me. Sometime this break.

I have just now gotten into Everything is Illuminated, and I hope to finish it by the end of Christmas Day, but, anyway, I became so angry because I wanted to underline everything, but it is from the library, so I cannot. That is quite frustrating.

My dad is almost home with my toothbrush! I can't wait to brush my teeth, because my breath has tasted strange for a very, very long time.