Is it wicked not to care

when you've wasted many hours talking endlessly to anyone that's there?" I love the syllables in this. I don't know why. It makes the line so interesting.

I have come to the conclusion that leaving home on a Friday night is completely overrated. I have immensely enjoyed myself here, comfortably reading and eating leftovers. My mom keeps asking me if I want to do something, or telling me to call my friends back, and I keep telling her that I like being here, for once, and I don't plan on leaving, which I decided almost as soon as I lifted my head from my pillow at 1:30 PM. I just want to sit and think and sleep and read and eat and listen to Yo-yo Ma, as I have done for many hours. This is how a break should be spent. Well, at least a portion of it.

I have just escaped from the strangest mood ever (can you escape from a mood? how do I put this?), which lasted for most of the day (though I have only been up for seven and a half hours--I received twelve hours of sleep last night), and am happy to be rid of it. I was depressing myself and felt quite pitifully angry and destructive. I am now sitting indian style and playing with silly putty, which I believe is supposed to be yellow but has morphed to a rather disgusting greenish color.

I am overjoyed that you like your elephant. I told my mother, and she is still rather confused, but that's okay. Christmas at the Zoo 2007 was not good as the first time to attend. Oh, well. Ah, blue prints. You are crazy, Abigail. "Just because I don't like love or whatever that's about". Please reread this exerpt from your last entry and analyze it, because it is saddening. "Whatever that's about"...hmmm. I don't know. Thank you for acting like you liked it--"I wish you weren't a liar".

I don't think I have it. I really am lost as what to think about myself, and people making contradictionas on my personality only further confuses me. So, no, I don't think that is all we have. But I think that I might eventually find it, because I will have time to think about it and I won't have peers telling me which way to be or how to think. But then again, we will have co-workers and the media to tell us who to be, so maybe will never, ever be the person we would have been if left alone. But if we were left alone, we wouldn't have the friends that encourage individual personalities, so those wouldn't properly develop? I don't know. I really, truly don't. At all. Why did I finally come back to earth only to be welcomed by Kelly Clarkson's unbelievably loud voice? Woah.

I wore my "I'm a big sister" button even before Katie was born all around the hospital, and when we went to the food court, some lady asked if it was a boy or a girl, and I told her that she hadn't been born yet, and she just laughed. I didn't remember that until just now.

I can't handle that paragraph. I swear, it almost made me cry. Almost.

I just looked down at the "labels at this post" part of the page and I love how it says, "e.g. scooters, vacation, fall". That made me laugh pretty hard. Ah, I love humor, really.

You are insane. In a good way, I think, naturally, but insane all the same. Just SLEEP, okay? Gosh darn it, your lack of rest stresses me out and makes me feel guilty for sleeping for such a long time. Your obsession with people is something that I will never understand, sadly.

When people tell you to be different, they usually need to change a little themselves. You know what bothers me to no end? When somebody tells someone else to stop being selfish. I think this is just so hypocritical. If you tell somebody to stop thinking about him or herself, you usually want that attention turned to something else that will benefit you, which drives me insane. But anyway, don't change if you don't think you should. That would be doing something against what you believe. And don't stay the same if you know you are wrong or need change. And despite what some people say, there ARE some people that you cannot, just absolutely cannot become. If you find that you are a decent person in the begininng, you shouldn't necessarily change, but only work to be better, you know? I don't, actually. But you can stay non-grown up, if it works for you.

The Ragpicker knew this question would one day come, and yet she still had no appropriate answer. "I left...I left...I left only because I could not stay." At the Ticketmaster's gaze that told her there was no need to continue, she felt the courage that enabled her to. "You were everything, and that scared me. Everything. Being read so easily be someone, well, it is frightening. I couldn't continue loving someone so much and having the love in return when I have always believed that it would never be possible. Not me. Not with my past." She looked down and could not muster the strength to look up.

Oh, goodness, this story cannot make any sense. I am pretty sure it is impossible, and I can't write it without laughing.

No question, that ration would be five million to one in your favor. But that's okay. That's how it should be.

I hope you were not beaten by your mother. This was meant as a joke until I realized that if your mother did tend to beat you when she is angry, it would probably not come off as too hysterical. Sorry for the sense of humor that could in actuality be quite offensive.

It is only 8:48!? I have hours of reading and cookie-eating left to do.