"It's everything

that is connected and beautiful and now I know just where I stand, thank God it's over!" Is it not ridiculous how everyone knows somebody knows somebody who you know? Really. The networking of the world is just a marvel. Everything is connected. Kind of makes me feel like you can never really be your own, if that makes sense.

"Is it wicked not to care when they say that you're mistaken?" That is one of my favorite lines, ever. And the syllables in the line you chose does very nicely flow. It's weird how mouths move.

Staying home is very nice. I love staying at my grandma's house. I don't have to do anything. I eat, watch television, read, help do chores, whatever there is to do. I don't really talk to anyone, or work on anything unless I need to. It's so relaxing. I wish I had the time to do it atleast once a week. Maybe that's why it's so great, because I don't have the time. But I should. Oh, I don't know.

Life should have one day a week where all technology is turned off.

You can very well escape from a mood. Like being okay then being really sad and then you're not, and it's like you've escaped from the sadness, just kind of how you went into it. Well, that's how I see it, atleast.

You and that danged silly putty. I'm nestled in my bed with my laptop on my golden-haired (new obession) right hip and everytime I type it kind of hurts because it puts pressure on that hip bone. Lord knows what it would do to your hip bones.

I really do not know why I like elephants so much. They are so big and peaceful, I guess. I really like elephants and lions. Lions are my grandma's favorite animal too. Elephants remind me of some ancient wise grandpa, or some random nonsensical Sally, and I like that. Lions are just admirable and interesting to watch. They look very comfortable, but I would never get too close to one, of course.

"Just because I don't like love or whatever that's about." It's been analyzed. It's crazy, how I over-analyze my own thoughts and what other people say. My poor brain. Just because I don't like love doesn't mean I don't believe in it, not that at all. I am not acting like I liked Moulin Rouge, Auds, come on. I really did like it. Who could deny Madonna and Police re-do's? No one. Not even me.

You don't have yourself? Auds, you have to. You have your body and you have your mind and that's what being alive is in the simplest sense, I think. You don't have to be familiar with it or know it all, (there's a drive to get to know it, yes), but you've got it, most definitley. It's right there. All in there. Finding yourself, I thought I knew what it meant untill lately. Now I don't understand it. Who are we not? I think it's all there, all in everyone. What's there to find? I think I just don't look at it as a matter of finding it anymore, just rather defining it.

I always wonder that. Who would I be if I was alone. Would I be me? But I suppose our experiences have a lot to do with who we are, our enviroment and such. Humans are the defintion of combined effort, really. I don't think who we are has much to do with genetics. That just doesn't make sense to me.

I'd really like some water.

"I hope you’re learning to listen.
And I hope you’re learning to stay.
And I hope you find what you’re missing.
And I hope that you’re making you’re way."

I wonder what all it would say if I had some gadget that would record all of what I thought about throughout the day and kept it in order. So I'd get to see all I thought about and how often I thought about it and what connected in my mind. It'd be really interesting.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if everyone knew everything about each other? Like everything was just out there. I think that'd be a good thing. Not if that were to just happen, but if the world was like that. I wonder who really did the first bad thing in the world. I feel bad for them. I hope they don't know what they did. That'd be too much.

I love stories. My nose is really cold and my eyes are really watery. 3:47 AM. What an interesting time. I wonder what is going on everywhere.

Scooters, vacation, and fall. What a fun mix! I have no idea what I would label these posts as. Hm...

I need a name for my elephant, Auds! I'm thinking Newman? Norman? Lloyd? Herman? Or it could be a girl? I just don't know. It is cuddled in my hip at the moment, aha. Or, it'd be good to have a first, middle, and last name. I like when people intial the first and middle name, and then write out their middle name. It just looks neat. Kind of like A.A. Gill.

Ah, Auds, I don't want to make you almost cry. I'm sorry.

Insanity? Well, who is sane, then? I just played with the skin around my knuckle a very abnormal amount of time. I would sleep if I could. It's not just something I can pull out of thin air. Maybe I'll be able to sometime, develop that skill, but until then it's insomnia, and I'm okay with it. I cope, I cope. Don't feel guilty that you sleep for so much. I don't really feel like sleep is some big thing I'm missing out with, and I only like to do it when I'm with people, and that gets covered, so I'm good, Auds.

I don't know why I am so obsessed with people. Just so fascinating, and really, the human race is such a beautiful thing.

When people tell you to be different... Well, what to do when someone is telling you to be the same, that you are being different. But if you weren't happy being that same, because when you were being that same, you were being what they wanted you to be, and really it was okay for a little bit, you didn't know anything else. Untill other people came around, and now, you like yourself a little better, and you feel just more comfortable, and you put yourself out there a little more than your used to, and it's okay, but the other people, their argument is good. It's so selfish on both parts.

I don't understand people that think they are right in pointing out people's wrongs, or what may have you. It drives me absolutely crazy. I just don't understand it. I make fun a lot, but really it's just my observations with a cynical twist and a fictional plot, and people know this. But sometimes, I say things I think out of spite or anger or whatever and it's bad, it's totally wrong of me, and I know it, but I'll say it anyway and I'll feel bad, surely, but for that little bit after I've said it and gotten it out I'll feel good, and that shouldn't happen. That's bad.

I cannot wait for tennis season to start. Something to put it all into. An "outlet," ha.

So many things, when you look at them, really are so selfish.

Are there really some things about people you can absolutely not possess (spelling...)? I don't know about that. And we are all just getting better, really. That's the goal in almost everything. To get better.

The Ticketmaster watched as the Ragpicker suddenly went silent. She took a deep breath and took the Ragpicker's hand and smiled, "Come on now, we've got a lot of adventures to embark. We've wasted much too much time." The Ragpicker's smile in return was comforting and energizing, and the Ticketmaster could care less about the rest of the world, despite how selfish she knew it may be. Then, a random Oriental melody floated through, and the Ragpicker jumped. The Ticketmaster recognized the tune. "Hey... Is that your cell phone?"

Everytime I read the story I just start cracking up. Too much to handle, aha. We can use this for the children's/harlequin romance publishing house.

Ahah, that's how it should be, hm? Well, I promise, just tell me when to stop calling you, and I will. Or when the ration gets to five million and one to one, I'll stop. Someday.

It is now 4:14. I think I will go to bed, but I am really thirsty. Maybe get some water. Ah, whatever. I went and got some water. I am cold. Tomorrow is Saturday. Hm. I need to vacuum. I'm going to make a To Do list tomorrow, I think. Woo! Lists!