This means war.

Time has had the oddest flow today. I woke up early, and it was going kind of slow and I took my time and got to school thirty minutes early. English went by pretty fast, then Physics went by very slow. Then your seminar went by especially fast, and Algebra went by pretty slow, and your Latin went by pretty fast. (Already that's a lot, BUT THEN...) I get home around five, and I fall asleep right away (what is this sleeping?), and I wake up to our old neighbor in my room (this is around 5:30) I don't exactly wear pajamas so I was trying my hardest to get him out but Emily had no idea and so in retrospect I look really rude while she was trying to make conversation, but really, forty year old men cannot just drop into your room when you are not expecting it (he is like another dad, but still, very awkward). Anyways, that was the slowest five whole minutes of my life. He had no idea, which made it less uncomfortable, I suppose, but seriously. I have never felt so perplexed in my life. Anyways, so I wake up around six (sidenote: the parents left for the funeral home right when I got home [my mom's friend's dad passed away], so through all this they are not here) and I am about to get up when I decide no, I want to go back to sleep, so I lay back down and around 6:15 Emily comes in my room and we get in a fight about something but she ends up lying in bed with me and I cuddle up to her but then she pushes me out (OF MY OWN BED) and I get upset and she leaves and I lay back down but I'm all agitated and hurt so I can't fall asleep for awhile and my whole house is really, really cold but I fall asleep regardless and I wake up around 7 where I was informed Mom and Jay picked up Taco Bell so I went downstairs to eat and I had two soft tacos but my stomach has been really weird all day and I feel the need to throw up but I can't just force that action. Anyways, I ate that and then watched a little bit of Terminator 3 and it just stressed me out and now I'm here. I think I'm bringing in the painting I made this weekend to school tomorrow instead because of 1) I don't feel like driving to Memaw's to get my other one, 2)It's not nearly as good, but that's okay with me, 3)It's certainly interesting.

I will never get another mohawk. Actually, I'm not going to say never, but I just don't think I could do that (let alone to Memaw). She hated it. She never said so though. She's the definition of passive agressive. She just makes fun of me now relentlessly for it. Got to love her. Man, everytime I think of her she just makes me smile.

Thank you for telling me I look goofy in the good way, Auds. I guess the Secret Admirer and Julia think the same thing.

I have started bathing more regularly, you have been aware of this. I don't know why, it just kind of happened. I can't wash my hair much though. The green has already faded so much into this blue color and this "blue color" is intense. I feel like I am turning into a mermaid. It's a very mermaid color. (Taking the liberty to use a noun as an adjective.) (I take that liberty a lot.)

I am excited for this Hemingway book, really. Thirty-five pages in, yeah! That probably means about ten pages in regular print books, although. Oh, well. I've decided I'm only going to start getting one book at a time, becuase more often than not I get too overwhelmed and only read 1/4 of every book.

I decided against turning on my television tonight, only because I know I will watch two-thousand nine-eight-seventy-teen episodes of Degrassi and not be able to turn it off. So, no.

You and that concerto. Past the two minute mark! I have to hear it, Auds. It'll be my most favorite song ever and I'll play it (in my head) all the time. Really, really, it's killing me.

I need to get started on my history final, that I do. I figure I will do that tomorrow. I also need to do my cheat sheet for Algebra 2. I'm so glad she's letting us have those. I really want to know if it can be double-sided. Maybe I will make two? I have a lot to do and it's already 8:13. I hate realizing that you did something you didn't really have time for (in my case, sleeping).

Okay, Auds. This is how you bold or italicize. All you do is type the word, highlight it, then either click the bolded 'b' in the top left, or the italicized 'i,' also loccated in the top left. It only shows up as a code in the draft, but once you publish it, it is as set.

It is so crazy how carefully you must construct a sentence to get your mood and point across. Sure, it's not like we spend five minutes on every sentence, or even one minute, but there are so many possibilities for saying something that you have to make sure it's a certain way, how you want it, I guess.

Let's have a New Year ceremony this March, Auds. There are so many definitions for "new," but I suppose "coming back" is one of them. New life. Staring over.

I wonder if anyone has totally started over. But wouldn't that require forgetting your past? How is that possible without the help of MIB gadgets? Or do you not forget your past, but kind of use it to your advantage? I don't know, I just don't get it.

Water is one of the best tastes in the world, I think. Except the water at school. The water at school almost tastes soapy, and I don't know what that deal is. Atleast teachers don't really get mad if you bring your own water.

It's crazy. I hate when people say "It's just in your head." Why is it just in my heaD? Is it really just there? Then why am I thinking it? Why is it in my head? I almost feel stupid. Like my brain isn't smart enough to know it's not real, but a lot of things go own "just in my head" regardless.

To be honest, I didn't really know how unselfish and caring people could be untill I met you, Auds. I guess I'm just used to having pretty shallow relationships, where the same thing happens everytime and it's barely noted. The same fights happen, the same apoligies are accepted, and it all just kind of makes you feel like you are just existing throughout the weekends, not really where you are supposed to be. Like you can't really do anything else, like you are not above it. You changed that, though. (And thanks, by the way.)

I have come to the realization that I love speech impediments. Really, more people should have them. Even myself. It's kind of like an accent, and I think that it's makes the monotonous drawl of the day seem much more interesting. Why make fun? Usually it's a lot easier on my ears. The only thing I can't really stand is when people talk like they are about to cough. It makes me want to cough over and over and over, but I really can't. That's the only voice that really gets me. It's crazy how people sound so different. I wonder why. I wonder how I sound to other people.

I will find the right thing for myself. It all comes in time, in little hints, I suppose. I suppose that is just what it is, my "coming of age" story. Ah, well. It's certainly interesting. Auds, I promise I won't tell you I'm happy when I'm not so you don't have to worry about that. It's interesting how "possibly later, possibly not" is basically a motto for everything in life.

I want to walk around in some random place and ask these complete strangers that exact question and see how many answer me truly. That's actually an art project I've been working on. I need help, if you'd like to help me out.

Don't apologize for answering that much, really. I like it. I know exactly what you mean. I don't know what these things are for me yet. I'm sixteen, I haven't nearly been everywhere my life is going to take me. I don't know these places yet, these experiences, and the emotions they will draw out. I don't know how much I can feel of something yet. Yeah, maybe if we had charts and graphs and slideshows, we'd get our answers, but we don't. So I guess that's just another thing we've yet to figure out.

A Rocket Eraser? Ah, lucky! I love when my sister makes me things. Really, my heart swells to the maximum. We do have good sisters (regardless of how I feel about some of them at the moment). It's so nice to have siblings. When no one else wants your love you've just got more to give to them. Oh, Emily. I love her, so much. My life would be so different if she wasn't here. I would be so different. I am so thankful for her.

I do love people, I do. Just sometimes it's so hard. When your brain and your heart say two different things, it's this all out war. I'm lost as to what to do ninety percent of the time, I'd say. It scares me to think that I could be making really bad decisions without me really knowing it.

I know I need to stop letting my past affect my future so much. It's not that I hold grudges, but I don't make myself vulnerable enough? If that makes sense? I close myself off to much, especially after I get hurt? I've been acknowledging it, I suppose that's a good step. I've been acknowledging a lot of things, lately.

Time is going crazy. It's weird to think about.

After you get the award, huh Auds? Yeah RIGHT. Good luck, really. You are going to need it. Would you like some lemonade when you are done? I'll be bored waiting, might as well give me something to do. DISS.

If you are making something sound beautiful that you don't think is beautiful, I think that is pointless. I don't understand why you would do that (unless you are being paid). It's dishonest. I don't respect that. Now, if you want something you think is beautiful to sound beautiful, I respect that.

I think grading papers is all about the content, really. Not necessarily the aesthetics or the rules. That's how I would grade papers, anyways.

I am sorry my phone kept you up for about an hour. I knew that was going to happen. I really am sorry though. I'm glad two months falls on a Wednesday, really. Perfect! Also, I found out that their dollar menu is quite extensive. Lucky us! I'm glad you like the addings to the profile. Are there any details to our story I'm missing? I have checked my email, Auds, and I'm touched, really. Thank you. I turned in my paper half finished anyway, and I'm getting it tomorrow morning to work on it more.

Okay, we won't necessarily be criminals, that sounds dangerous and scary. Just people who do illegal things, but not the hardcore illegal things, just like entering when you are not supposed to or out past curfew (which was your doing, might I add). The end of February I might get pretty upset. That's not so far away. I get sort of downtrodden thinking about it.

It is my accepted duty to get us to eighty on the list. Bring it!

How was your Narnia event? I forgot to ask! I need to start volunteering somewhere. I want to do something with children. I think that I will work on that this week. Ah, Auds, you and your impressive cello skills. Good job.

I had a nice little phone conversation with my grandma, and I told her you would like to talk to her about reincarnation, and she said "Well, she'll just have to come over soon then!" What is this? I would like to be a dog, I think. I'm warming up to the species. We will see how this kitten deal goes.

I've always wondered if really, there is no one exactly like me. There are a lot of people. I just found your pencil in my pocket. I like that we are made up of everyone else. It's not so, I don't know. Life isn't so lonely, I guess. We are all just like each other. It's like that "John Wayne Gacy Jr." song by Sufjan Stevens. You would like it. (Plus one for new CD?)

I disagree. You can stay with someone and not really let them get to you. I don't mean not affect you, more like get to know you. You just keep it very shallow on your end. I've experienced this. But, there are people you are with and you let your guard down without really noticing it. I agree in that way.

Oh, fruit in general. I really want some. I love fruit. It's so good. I'm thirsty now.

Should we be proud of what we are doing, though? Becuase, honestly, I feel like a lot of the good things I do (or things I do that I should be doing anyway) that I am proud of are canceled out by the things I do wrong. So most of the time I feel like I don't deserve to be proud of myself.

The world having an "our book." Ah, that's so nice. It makes me smile.

Sometimes I picture people naked just to laugh. Or I always wonder what kind of underwear people wear. I'm usually pretty right on, but I've been surprised. Oh, the places my mind goes.

I think someone has to be right. I don't understand how it all these debates and wars and craziness can just be a big empty blog of nothingness. That scares me. It can't be. Well, it can. but I don't think so.

I won't slam your head, Auds, I promise. I hate being upset in front of people. I'm getting worse at hiding it though. I guess because it's more built up. Funny how everything that is built up is hard to let go of. I hate not being "okay" for people. I try to just keep down unrill I get alone. Even then I don't really let go untill it all just comes out.

I wonder where we will be in one hundred years. Someone will do something. That's what I have in my head, atleast. Things have to get better, because they always do. Sure, things get worse often before they get better, but okay, if that happens, atleast it'll still get better. And maybe things should get worse, maybe that'll help us.

"Of course I remember! My phone went off that day. I bet that made a very good impression," laughed the Ticketmaster. Right as she was about to reach for another piece of pizza, they heard a familiar 'rrrrrr' of a vibrating cell phone. "Oh, do I remember that sound," smirked the Ragpicker. The Ticketmaster smiled and pulled out her phone to see who it was. The caller ID read: Garfunkle. "Oh, ah, it's nobody." The Ticketmaster had totally forgotten about him and looked uneasy as she put her phone back in her pocket. What was she going to do?

I think Francis will want to be outside, mostly, though. Atleast if I were a dog and I lived on a farm, I would want to be. What could we grow? Well, maybe we could find out how to make a turtle live for awhile. I like turtles. But we don't have to. We will always have food too. And game nights! Our kids will probably grow to hate Scrabble and Disney Scene It. Also, Word of the Day calendars! YES!

Places I like to be...
1. My Memaw's house - She has food, a very warm and comfortable bed, and plenty of love. I can always relax. She also has Scrabble, Sorry, and cable. Good times are guarenteed.
2. The library - I just want to sink in one of the chair's and read for awhile. Maybe have a bottle of water, maybe not. It's so relaxing, and I feel like I can actually get things done there.
3. Any restaurant - I love eating with people. Not even necessarily a restaurant, just having dinner at someone's house. It's so nice and fun. Eating and being with people you love. Best thing.
4. Your house - I am fed untill I burst, you have a very warm bed, and it's never boring. I do apologize if I come over too often. I'll give you a break, eventually.

Your turn to make a list.
I have to go off and be productive now. I am thirsty and I need to clean my room.
I will probably call you soon to ask about English and to make sure you are showing up tomorrow morning, or if you are not, setting my alarm for an hour later.
Good night.