Now that's fantastic.

I just got off the phone with my Memaw. I love her so much. Today she went to Goodwill, of course, it is Senior Discount day. She is also buying me cupcakes? We talked about word of the day (John BarleyCORN, not COMB as I had previously thought), how old people already know that word (she already knew it), my pants (why does that seem to come up every single day?), and of course family. I definitley forgot to tell her there is green in my hair. She's going to kill me, in the most loving way possible. The one thing about her is she is definitley grandma to a fault. She will associate my green patch with fishnets and mohawks (she does not deserve that twice, no one does), and it's going to be quite the conversation. Maybe I'll tell her it's a political statement. That won't do much, but it's worth the try.

I haven't done anything all day. I didn't get Rally's, surprisingly. I stopped and got some soup on my way home, came home and ate it while watching Degrassi (the marathon is still on!), and just have layed on my floor and made constellations in my ceiling and played with my socks and haven't really thought. We have Doritos! My life is a party.

I have figured out how to bold and italicize. I really want to give you a hint. Tomorrow I will ask you if I can, and I will be very persistent. It's an amazing thing. Adds a whole new element. Okay, I think I will give you several hints.

I cannot wait untill it is completely warm either. I don't like indecisive weather. I'm ready to be able to wear my shorts all the time. They are just so comfortable. Anyways, warm weather always makes everything better. It just motivates you. The New Year should start in March. I think there would be more fulfilled New Year's resolutions if it did. Warm weather makes everyone warm inside. I wouldn't say life itself takes a hiatus and stops being so dramatic (but it should), but everything is definitley better. Ah, I can't wait.

I should start being excited for tomorrow, instead of keep being like "I can't wait untill 3459458 days from today!" But, life is being weird and I can't help it. Maybe I will be able to soon or something. Life is so weird.

Ahaha, if you do suggest a date, make sure you do it in front of the Freshman or Mrs. Koehring. Really, make sure your timing is precise. What are these circumstances? I swear, if this whole thing results in me being cuddle/head rub-withdrawn, oh will I be livid. You do not understand. You did not see me. You heard me, but much after. Sometimes. While you are doing something, do you ever in your head think "I am being so stupid..." but you just can't stop? You keep going. Half of your mind is pushing it along and the other half is trying to stop it so you are just kind of stuck? I hate that.

I remember when I was little I was told if you eat a food all the time you will end up smelling like it. I wonder if that's true. How would people that eat celery all the time smell? I never thought it really had one. Is there a smell that doesn't smell? Is that possible? To not smell like anything?

Smell is a weird word. I'm beginning to learn I don't like words that have double letters. Except repeating T's or R's. I like sharp letters. I only like soft letters when they are whispered (i.e. B).

I hate when my body, the shower, and my bed is cold. My room, really. I just, it's not comfortable, and I am a big fan of being comfortable. Strangely how easily I get uncomfortable.

It's not that I'm not happy, Audrey. Not at all. I have times where I really am happy. I'm just not content, I guess is the way to put it. I don't know what to do with myself, or what I want to do, and it's frustrating, because I know what people want me to do, but those same people are telling me what I want to do is more important, but I know I could very easily dissappoint them, or do something to just mess it up. And I'm also asking "Mess it up? Who cares?" because when it comes down to it, I should do the right thing for myself, but I don't know what that is. So really, Audrey, believe me when I say I'm happy. Because it's relatively true, okay?

And what about you Audrey? Are you happy?
I think that's a really hard question, but I want to hear your answer.

I love when Emily says cute things. It's make me so happy. I love when she laughs, it cracks me up. Or when mom will say something and she'll roll her eyes and look at me and smile like we just had a moment but really she's being very "I hate my parents" stage-y but I'll side with her anyways. I also like when she draws me pictures, or offers to help me with Webkinz. I love her so much, really, I do.

I have homework. I have Physics (which in saying that, just remembered it's not due untill Monday!) and I have a painting to finish, and I think I'm going to be doing a different independent project because I'm just too nervous about the one I made (I like it's safe haven at Memaw's), I have a theatre project to do (I think I have a good idea), and just life in general.

For the IMA thing, Rebekah says they are only sending applications to Herron, Broadripple, and the School for the Blind (I know I sound like such a jerk when I say this, but really, how can they do it?). Anyways, I just have to wait for that to appear, and that let me release a very deep breath. I hope I get this. It would make everything so much easier. No, really, I just wish I knew if I was getting it or not. At this point, it doesn't make sense to get a job and have to quit in March if I do get the internship. Ah, frustration.

Tegan and Sara are really nice writers. They don't really use metaphors, they basically just write it out. I am NOT unfaithful, Auds. I really, I just don't get it. Why am I a whore? What have I done? Have the freshman also said something about me whoring myself or something? Is it because I hug too many people? I can't help it. Why can't people just understand that. That I just like to be close to people. But, you know, I'm probably at fault. I need to understand them. It makes me sad though. I hate rumors and mean words and I don't know. I just am so tired of people being mean.

Canon in D Major just came on and it uplifted my spirits.

Mom and Jay always go to bed so early. We are talking nine o'clock or before. It's craziness. I usually tuck in Emily (as you have witnessed), and then it's just me. Which is so weird, because I'm really not a loner type. Sure, sometimes I am, but usually I need someone to cuddle with and talk to and play games with, maybe tell me a story. I need to do something with myself. Stop depending on people, it's such a senseless thing. Oh, who knows?

"I want to talk about music and movies, and yes, goodlash!"

Papers, papers, papers. Always puttin' holes in yo' soul. (Yes to spontaneous tidbit that rhymes!)

Why is "lbs" funny? I do not understand. I always end up pronouncing it "libs" and sounding unintelligent. You and my sister are now contending for my mental contest of Hidden Strength of Actual Women Bodybuilders Who Beat Me.

You can say things poetically without comparing your love to a flower or something. I always thought things like that sounded stupid. But then again, I do like what Craig (of Degrassi) just said, "I just want to bottle up this moment and get drunk on it forever." I thought that was a good metaphor. A simple one. It didn't go on and on, but it said it and it made perfect sense. It was nice. It was honest. I can't stress over how good it is when someone really writes. I don't care if they talk 'lYk3 DiS,' if it's honest I'll respect it, and usually like it. But it's not about what I like, I suppose. Where do these words come from (fortnight)? Honestly? Sometimes I truly believed they were made so people in the future could use them for Word of the Day calendars. Oh, if everyone could just be honest.

Fine, Audrey. Tegan and Sara lyric war? Fine. I'm kicking it from their old album.
"You went away, cause you said you couldn't love me, and I went away, cause all I do is love you" That is all.

I always wonder! Who does get the free iPod? Who does get the winning laptop? Who doesn't know the answers to these questions, and why are they so obvious to some people (me)? I want to meet someone that has one something off of one of those ads. Do we really get viruses when we click them? Or is it just a really bad repuation for those ads? Like, one time, some guy clicked one and he thought that caused the virus, when really it was the 9883 clips of porn he has loaded on his hard drive. Poor ads. Really, who is behind them though?

When does running start with Hobbs? I have to remember to see your legs tomorrow. I will be so sad the day you shave. I love when the thought randomly pops in my head that you haven't shaved in so long. You can't help but smile. I wish I could braid your leg hairs. That would make me so happy. Extensions, possibly? I'll have to be content with smootheness during running season, it seems.

We do not have school the twenty-first. Your reasons are much more legitimate than mine, but you know. I love random days off school. Not saying that Martin Luther King Jr. Day is random at all, no, he totally deserved a day in all categories that day-deservers should have, but just the fact that some Monday in the end of January, we don't have to go school... Refreshing.

Oh, Auds, do not get upset. I do know, actually, and if you had an inkling that I called other people or had another blog, I know you would be quite hurt and it makes me smile. Just because you love me.

I don't know why I am obsessed with alens. I need you to check out this book I have though. It is crazy. Also, you will have to watch the specials that occasionallly run on Discovery and History with me. I get so into them. Really, I've more than likely seen all of them, but I watch them, over and over. It's just so scary but I'm so fascinated.

I promise I will never walk in the park with Valium, Auds. I love parks. They are so nice. I like the one by my house a lot. I want to sneak into the water slides before the pools open. Bwfore the water gets filled in and before they take the covers off and just explore. I'll do it in the middle of the night, and you shall be my partner in crime. Someday, Auds! We will be like criminals, without the record.

If you think sixty is enough, fine. Since I already know you did it, if you don't want me to add to make eighty, fine. I won't. I apologize that I get really into these things. It's done. Sar-ee.

Okay, tomorrow I will get up and say to myself, "Today is the day I get to say hello to Auds and sing her a spontaneous tidbit that rhymes!" Sounds good. If that actually is my first thought when I wake up, I will laugh hysterically. Oh, Lord, it probably will be because I'll be thinking about it. Awesome.

Those headphones are quite weird. I suppose they are better for when you run, though. I always end up taping mine to my ears. I probably look pretty weird, but it works. Lobes (as in ear lobes) is such a weird word.

It's weird how some things become familiar. I've never really become familiar with much though. Not that I haven't had the time, not that I haven't been there, no, it just hasn't happened. Maybe that's why it's so hard to get used to things. I like having everything always new, kind of. Well, just atleast in some ways. I don't get bored with much. I don't think I've been bored in a long time.

I'm in an alright mood, really. I'm ready for the weekend!

Who has this control? I always wonder. Maybe God, maybe something else? Maybe some random little speck of bacteria? Not that this is a sad thing. I don't think I'd be dissappointed even if it was nothing. That's not something I base my life on, still in debate in my brain whether I should be or not. I think that is going to be a very long debate. Reincarnation is very interesting. My grandma believes in it, and she has a lot of books about it. You should talk to her about it sometime. She's really good at converasation, and she makes sense.

Of course our children will like each other. It'll be a good family. Home cooked meals and game nights, all the ways. I don't know what will happen when our kids go through the "I hate my parents" phase. Our kids will be too cool? Hopefully?

Oh, you were too worrying, Auds. Admit it.

I don't have a consistency in my mood at all. I think it's because my brain moves really fast. I think a lot of things at one time. Hardly ever am I calmed down. I'm pretty good at controlling myself, though I'd say. I know what you mean by "easily swayed," very much. It's not that I'm unconfortable. Just when I'm something, I am also the other. I don't really know how to put it in words? I'm happy but I'm sad, I'm angry but I'm calm, the list goes on and on. All kind of at once.

I want to hear every detail of this Narnia event!

I take much pride in having healthier hair than Cameron, and the fact that I am the only head rub recepient. Really, your head rubs really are appreciated, Auds. My hair smells very good and feels very clean, by the way. Maybe it'll stay the same for tomorrow morning so you can experience it?

Okay, tomorrow, we will start talking about the Blog, and I will just say how to bold and italicize. (Which I have done none of this entry. Weird.)

I like when people say I remind them of people I like. I don't like when people say I remind them of someone I don't like (obvious). It freaks me out either way though. Knowing I remind somebody of someone. That somewhere in their brain, they connect me and some random person. Some character. And that we are related in that way. I feel like I'm not an individual, because every single part of me can be related to somebody else. It's overwhelming to me, really.

I like knowing everything about someone. There is nothing I don't want to know. I'm just curious. I want to learn. The more I learn, the more I feel, the more experience I get and I think that's a big part of it. I'm addicted to people's lives. Their stories. I just love them. I get attached though, and I suppose I should work on it, but I can always do that tomorrow (being very relative). I don't mean to pry. I don't mean to be rude or anything, really, and I probably am. I just don't realize it untill much later. I don't think about it when I'm talking. I would never want to know everything right away, not at all. That thing takes a lot of time, it takes people staying around and staying together.

I really, really, really like strawberries. They are just the best food sometimes. I don't think I'm never not in the mood for strawberries.

Okay, Evansville office chair racing. Also, Herron (the new college) is really good for it too! We could have two tournaments? I also like sliding around in my socks. Have you ever played tag on a floor you can slide around in with your socks? Amazing. Oh! I know the perfect building for that. The National City one downtown. We'd have to go after the bank closes, though. The building is still open though, no worries, Auds.

I am lucky to have met you, Auds. It freaks me out what kind of things I could be doing, and it kind of, sort of, makes me proud what I have been doing. In a really little way. Not much. It's what I should be doing, why should I be proud of that? I don't know.

Who says I have the right to stand up for myself, Audrey? I don't understand you there. Honestly, when someone criticizes me, or says I'm wrong, they very well could be right, and I know this. Sometimes, maybe even often, I agree with them. Every argument they give me is something I've already thought of myself. It's not like I've proved much in any direction. I know it's allowed to stand up for yourself, but I don't believe I should, because I agree with people that say I'm wrong. (If that makes any sense.)

I wonder where the phrase "my book" came from. Who comes up with such catchy phrases? A mishmash of words off the street, happens to roll easily off the tongue? Is that all it is? Very well could be. Someone is just very clever? It starts off as something, ends as another? There should be an "our book." That sounds so nice.

For some reason that reminds me of the Greeks and how they would exile someone for ten years, and how it was no big deal. "Please leave, you can come back in ten years, have everything back." How there was no shame in it. The family still got along and everything. I don't know, I just think that is so weird.

I would tell you to just imagine everyone naked, but you've told me of the people in your music class, and I wouldn't be able to handle those people naked, so I don't know if you could or not. You will do amazing, Auds. Your concerto will surpass the normal, as does many things you do. I don't say this to put pressure on you and say no matter what it'll be great. No, in fact, it very well could be awful. Just how I know you, I'm sure it won't be. I'll be sure to keep an open mind though.

I get nervousness at the worst times, it feels. Well, nevermind, it's not like being nervous is ever convenient.

You did put "Fiddler On The Roof" on my CD. I don't like the beginning because people are talking. I have something against CD's where there is talking. Like interviews our conversations. I just get annoyed.

No concrete answers? Oh, that scares me, but in a way, why does someone always have to be right?

I will explain 'bold tags' to you tomorrow. We will go through a Blog tutorial, if you will.

If you were really upset and slammed my head, no, I wouldn't be upset with you. I would just hope you'd feel a little bit better afterwards, and maybe not slam my head again, but if you needed to, I suppose I would let you. Maybe after the second time you'd just be willing to sit down and talk, but if my head being slammed helped you out, I wouldn't be upset. I'd just hope that someone had Tylenol for afterwards.

I never took crying on someone's shoulder as a metaphor. If I were to cry on someone, that's where I would aim I suppose. Maybe it's just because I am a nuzzler and what I do anyways. I don't know.

My grandma called. Oh, my. She is just so great. Her dinner with Myrna went well. She's so, I don't know. She is amazing.

I am really bad at that. When I get into whatever I'm reading I have a bad habit of moving my lips (like I'm talking but really I'm just reading what it says) and I quite often end up doing what it says. Or it'll say something and it will sound weird so I will do it to see if it is actually possible.

Urge people to become more understanding and open-minded. That's it. I think judgement, as in how we view other people, is totally different than judgement, how we view right and wrong. Two different types of judgement, if that is possible? Or maybe, it's kind of in degrees. Criticism affects people in such different ways. Some do something about it, some hide from more of it. Some do both. Some do something totally different. I wonder why?

Acting correctly... I always want to know where these standards came from? What differed us from "barbarians?" Why are "barbarians" called that? What started it all? I'm glad that people do act correctly, but really, what all consists of it? I don't know. I'm glad I'm taught things, but who figured out what to teach, and why?

"Well, uh, not much, really," replied the Ticketmaster, after a long pause. "I, um, well, I've been basically everywhere. Emily lived with me for awhile, but then left because she started this animal shelter and apparently struck a deal with YouTube to have weekly podcasts or something. She's become quite the celebrity." It was interrupted by a burst of laughter from the Ragpicker and the Ticketmaster smiled. "I wonder how many "Very Angry Kitten" videos will be made?" the Ragpicker laughed. "Oh, Lord. I do not know if I want to know." The Ticketmaster stopped there and looked at the Ragpicker. Her pupils were still just as large. There was silence, and the Ticketmaster sensed the Ragpicker wanted to know more, but where to start? How to start? So she completely changed the subject and offered the first slice of pizza to the Ragpicker.

Francis better be an outside dog. Why can't you just be a fish person, Auds. Maybe a turtle? That'd be so much easier. I guess I won't complain. On with Francis. That is a nice name for a dog, I must admit. You would leave me for a dog? Oh, this makes me nervous.

Hm, new list. How about top four places that you like to hang out? Once again, make it a selfish list. Don't consider other's opinions. I'm thinking this entry is pretty long. Let's see, it's 11 o'clock. Tomorrow is Friday. I hope the weather is nice.

See you tomorrow, Auds.