"Screened door swaying,

now baby give me something to live for." Ah, back to titling the blogs with the current song I'm listening to. I've downloaded about eight hundred songs within the past approximate thirty hours. I found this legal program and it is quite amazing. It has everything. I love it. Heart, heart, heart.

Us, not having APUSH together? That's not possible. If it does happen, you bet I will switch my schedule. Alleviate that from your mind because I will not let it happen.

I know you have not been neglecting the Blog. Anyways, you can't. You just aren't allowed, and it just isn't possible. We spent about forty-eight hours together, it's okay Auds. We did forget joint post! We will have to get on that. We have to do that. The Blog is two months and a day old. How nice. How it has developed!

I hope you are doing well with Disney Scene It. I hope you can sleep at night destroying how many people's confidence over and over.

Being content is a lot deeper feeling then being happy. I have had a lot of temporary content feelings as of late. I don't really have drawn out periods untill the summer, when I don't have as many worries and pressures. School really is bad in that way, all the pressure and work and stress. The other parts of it, I like though. Oh, Auds, I have so much to do.

The fact that I am okay with life always comes around, and then something bad happens again. I'm in that stage where nothing really has happened. I have been realizing a lot lately, not being so oblivious I suppose, and I guess it's a good thing. I am taking note to obvious changes that need to be made. But next comes the (even) hard(er) part, doing something about it. Oh, my. My mom said I was very adaptable, very versatile. I really am. I guess that's better than not being able to deal, being sort of innocent of life. I don't know.

Plum Pudding is such a nice brand name. It's so happy. I love the names of things. I used to want to be a Namer. I really thought that was a job. I remember I wanted to open a hotel called the Goldflower Hotel too, and I planned out this sign with a gold brick with a flower across it, so the people would know what my hotel was called if they couldn't read. Mind you, I made this up at an age where I couldn't read, aha. I remember the moment I came up with it, oddly enough. We were coming back from dinner (at the Waffle House, one of my Grandmother's [Trilby's mom] favorites, we always went there for dinner and this place called Shirley's for lunch [we occasionally still go to Shirley's for lunch to visit with Shirley [the owner], this is all in Shelbyville) and I was in the back of Memaw's car. Weird, how sometimes you can remember little random moments so precisely.

I don't despise computers, really. I think they are quite amazing, a really good invention. They are useful and have definitley opened a connection to people who could otherwise never talk or meet, and knowledge is so much easier to get too, but there is the easier is not necessarily better argument. I totally agree with that too. Every pro has it's con, kind of the opposite of every cloud has it's silver lining, but it's true. I think the world is fine with what all we have now, though. I think we should stop with the advancements for a little bit. Not with medicine or anything like that, but we need to just enhance what we have possibly and take a break. The world needs to take a deep breath and relax. I think that would be nice. Everyone just spend time with their friends and family and have peace and just, I don't know, a nice pause. That should happen.

And should world peace, which I think is totally possible. I don't see how people think it isn't.

Ah, your nose. You know, if I could be best friends with a body part, it'd be either your nose or your hipbones. Your nose is a great conversationist, and your hipbones are just fun in every single way.

Cloud hunting is going to be amazing! I wish the weather forecast went more than a week in advanced. I had in my mind that it went two weeks, but I guess I was wrong. We need to keep checking so we can find a really foggy day. I am so excited for this! Our safari outfits and hats, the nets, the jars... No cloud has a chance. Why did that kind of make me sad? I pictures the huge, white, fluffly, marshmellow-esque, smiling clouds on Super Mario and then some hand just grabbing them very aggresively. Well, we will just have to be very gentle cloud hunters. That would make me feel much better.

Stop worrying about me, Auds, really. I'm versatile. I am adaptable. I know you love me, that can't be helped, but really, there is no need to worry.

I can't believe you threw away your Silly Putty. How long are you going to go without getting a new one?

I've always wanted to do that. Buy a ticket and just go somewhere, then come back later. Maybe sleep on a bench or in an alley and just go back in the morning. It makes so much sense. Why don't people do this more often? You know what we should do? Senior year, on all the days we don't have to go to school, we should fly somewhere for the day. How many times we will be able to financially do this is questionable, but really, we should. That'd be fun. Another adventure! I love adventures.

I am very confused at life right now too. I don't know what I want or what to do about anything. I know what I should do. I know what people want me to do. I know what they want me to be and what I should be, but I hate that it is up to me. No, I don't hate it. I'm pretty relieved that it's not up to anyone else. I just don't know about anything at the moment, and it's so frustrating.

Don't feel guilty. Use the Blog as an emotional outlet, you very well should. Life is all about putting it all out there. That's part of it, I mean. Too bad it's so hard. Everything is getting harder. Hm.

There are so many experiments I want to do. I want to just sit down and make fun lists. Let's have a list day. Maybe make a book out of it. And we will include the 2008 experiments because I have had pop and ruined mine too.

I like when sentences start with 'and' despite the gerammatical error. It's more like how people talk.

I'm not really feeling anything at the moment, and it's really weird. Not weird, like foreign, weird as in just a weird mood that isn't really anything. Ah, I don't know.

I mean "fit in" as in no one wants to be the freak, the outcast. Everyone wants friends, wants someone, human contact in the least. It's human nature, you have to have it. So, what I meant by that is I'm wondering if we let all of ourselves show, every little bit, would we be too freaked out by it to have as many contacts as we do now? Would our friends dramatically decrease? I'm seldom freaked out by anything. Well, no. I'm seldom freaked out enough to stop talking to someone. I don't think it's ever happened, really. I just get more interested, I suppose. But anyways, we are all scared. That's why every singly one of us has secrets, because no one is brave enough to let all of them show, and in some ways, it's admirable, becuase in a lot of ways it's awful hard to keep most of it in, but really, it's horrible, because well, it's just sad we have to do this. That everyone knows you can't all the way be yourself. And you should be, but if you do, at this state in the world, you will become that freak, because no one is a saint and everyone is a critic.
That's what I meant. I didn't mean to come off as snottish. Maybe we could learn to be otherwise? Can people learn to be more compassionate? Is that possible? How does it develop, where does it come from?

I do not understand how someone could make a perfect circle with no tools. Freehand. Who made the first one? I've also wondered who made the first straight line. "Young and hostile but not stupid." I feel like I listen to people too much. I don't know how to get the information on my own though. Just about everything. I want it things for myself but I can't go out on my own. Weird. I just don't know. I like "ugly" things. To me they are all the more interesting. Who decided what was perfect anyway? Where did that come from? When you sleep does your brain just stop thinking orderly, and that's what dreams are? Not organized thoughts? That's pretty nice, I think. I think that's what I consider the difference.

An enhancement on the human race. Who determines what is better? That's very saddening and scary.

I don't like saying "sucks" either. I usually say "That's so dumb," or "I hate that." Not a big fan of "sucks." That doesn't sound nice.

This blog has had three splits, each about an hour or forty-five minutes long. I don't mind sleeping in jeans. I think I'm going to take a picture of my hair to show you, it really is unbelievable. I am going to Best Buy and Goodwill tomorrow. I have to buy blank CD's and clothes. What a fun thing. I also need to clean my room. I'm listening to "Moon River," but not the one Audrey Hepburn sings on, and it really is such a nice song. I like the old songs with that chorus that all sounds the same in every old song. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's like the 40's and 50's had this chorus that sang the background or the whole song for every single one. It just sounds the same, but in the best way. I love the sound of it. I also love how people spoke. "Lusting cat-daddy," was an insult! They didn't use the vulgar terms we use and they were twice as funny. That's one of my goals this year. Stop being so vulgar.

I love Golden Girls. That show is so funny, and it's so creepy how much it is like my grandma (even though she is the manly one), Granny, and Aunt Aloha. You know, maybe that's why Aloha and I never clicked. She never got a nickname. They were made when I was too little to know, so it's not intentional. Maybe I should make one, maybe that would help.

I just don't understand waiting to talk about it. Sure, sometimes there are wrong times, or times that just aren't convenient, and sometimes you have to wait to make it turn in your favor, but if someone brings something up, and they want to talk about it, how can you just be like "Not now." It's dishonest! It's not right, and it's so obvious that something needs to be talked about, someone needs you to listen, and you just refuse that? How can you do that? I don't understand. We need to get honest. The world needs to get real. Maybe then everyone can be who they are. Maybe then compassion can grow. Then again, I could be completely wrong. I probably am.

I'm sorry you are going through this changing thing or whatever it is. I just don't understand how people can be different. I don't get it. We are ourselves. There's nothing else. Sure there is developing, but we are only developing into ourselves. I think of it kind of like fate. You can't really change it.

I will be making you another CD, by the way. Some of these songs are much too much without having someone to talk about with them. You are the chosen one. Unless you don't want to be, of course. Ah, I love music.

Actually, Auds, I am pretty sure Ogie is the GREATEST character EVER created. You do not even understand! His little blue Cowboy shirt and I bet anything he wears Wrangler jeans. His little accent and baby face and parted hair. NOT TO MENTION HE IS A POET! He is adorable! He is my new obsession. His little spontaneous tidbits of rhyme. Oh, Lord. Why can't he be real? We would be LF's! Lovers forever! This, of course, if you leave me for William or cheat on me with Frank. Oh, Ogie. I have to find out if he as a last name. I will memorize every line he has in that movie. Not a joke.

I don't give you the CD's to go through in a rush. I just like when someone knows what I'm talking about, and no one hardly ever does, so I have to help it out a bit. Tell Rachel I have downloaded Secunencia and I like it. I love things you can tell without words. Like body language, or music, or art. I love it.

"Now they got me in a vortex, poppin' my jaw." Hey! Beck and I can pop our jaws! BFF!

Well, Auds, if you still want to be not at your house as of tomorrow, you can come over, and we will venture all over the southside, and I will show you where I adventure daily. We do need to do that, actually. You don't really have a choice, just because you might say no, aha. Wouldn't that be amazing? If with everything you could say "You do this and you don't have a choice because you might say no." No, that is incredibly selfish in every possible way, just sometimes it'd be nice if it was that easy. But then again, what would be sincere? Not much.

I am over winter. It's too cold without there being any snow. It was snowing yesterday though, and that was nice. I have realized I only like winter if there is a lot of snow, not this one inch buisness. I can't wait untill spring, or summer. I am really excited for summer, actually. I love being able to lay outside in the middle of the night without being cold. Oh, the summer. I am so excited! Spring break, too! Camping, Auds! Get PUMPED! I am excited at all the things coming besides all the work. I have to fill out my IMA application. The questions are hard. Don't you hate that? When you want to be honest but you also want the right answers? Everything will turn out how it is supposed to, I suppose. That's so frustrating sometimes, though.

It's so weird. One day you'll be looking at the trees and they are naked as can be, and then, it almost feels like the very next day, the trees are chock-full of their leaf friends. It's crazy and a very beautiful thing.

The Ticketmaster's head repeated over and over "It was probably just a friend. YOU were about to get married, anyways. Get over yourself," and the like. It was like a broken record, but the hand in hers distracted her. She knew just where to take the Ragpicker. There was this little pizza parlor that had horrible pizza but great breadsticks and a man who raised raccoons. The Ragpicker would love it, and hopefully, remember it. It was funny how natural it still felt going to get pizza after all these years. The Ticketmaster figured she would start up the light conversation. "How have you been? I've thought about you everyday." Right as it slipped the Ticketmaster burnt red and looked down. As much as the Ticketmaster had under control, she could never control her mouth. Never was smooth.

I like when people write how they talk. I think that's why I am so picky about books. Maybe Tolstoy in real life did love to drone on and on about landscapes, but to me it's pretentious and annoying and you don't have to go one for five pages about a farm to tell a story. Now, I don't mind when people describe things, or talk pointlessly, I just don't like when it's that unnecessary. I don't really know how to describe it. Almost like I have a scale in my head, ha. I just want it to be real, and usually I can tell.

This one has felt a lot longer too, probably because I got frustrated a lot and would keep erasing things because I don't really know how to say it. I'm horrible at talking, or typing I suppose. Just saying things in general.

My room is not clean, and it is disgusting. I need to clean it. I have a feeling I will do that tomorrow. We have had a very slow start to our goal. We will catch up, though. We can do it. 2008, hm. Where will it go? It's so weird to think how different years end up. How you can never see things coming. Hm. What will happen now?

What should be on this list? Sure, there are the cliche "What do you want to see happen this year..." or "What are your New Year's resolutions?" but I believe those are much too hard to list and are kind of mentally taken as time goes by and things happen. So, as I conclude, the new list shall be...Four themes you could do to your bedroom, and why. I may or may have not stolen this from the Lowe's magazine downstairs, but hey, it sounded interesting. So, go!

2:27, ah the night is young! Aha, yeah right. I shall go. Goodnight, Auds, and I hope you pulverized at Disney Scene It so you will be in a good mood.