I look back

and I don't think I'm that stupid, or confused. I don't think I'm that immature. I don't think I was lost.
I look back and I just don't really have any idea - and maybe that says it all.
I look at myself now, and I've got a good idea, just no drive.
Maybe that's it. Then, I had drive. Now, I'm just tired.

Top Ten Things I Like To Eat And Not Feel Guilty About Later:
1. Any type of healthy cereal; see Kashi and Cheerios. They are so good, so I don't know why I gravitate towards Golden Puffs.
In some ways, maybe my choices will be the death of me.
2. Fruit! It just makes you happy.
2A. Specifically, fruit salads of happigoodness.
3. Toasted peanut butter/honey sandwiches. Yes.
3a. Waffle-wiches. Enough said.
4. Ice cream in mugs because if you just have one mug, that means you aren't having too much. And it's so good.
5. String cheese, though I've been eating it so much lately I'm kind of getting tired of it.
6. Carrots and ranch dressing. Yes, yes, and yes.
7. Rye bread with cinnamon butter. It's just so good.
8. Mashed potatoes!
9. Egg noodles. (Speaking of with, this and the prementioned withh me present at Thanksgiving. Yes.)
10. Tomatoes, especially in the summer. As is tomato and mozzarella paninis, as in just-tomato sandwiches, as in I love you.

And, maybe she's right, maybe these are the things that define me.
She as in Ayn Rand.

As in, as in, as in, I'm pretentious.
The word pretentious is pretentious, I love words like that.

I've got a lot to do. Me? Go shopping tomorrow?
But maybe that's the problem. I'm making it weird for me to go shopping for tights and a sweater. Do I like the dress? I don't mind it. Why do I not bother? I don't mind it. Is it the problem that I don't mind? "I could never see you in a dress!" Fuck you, I could never see you naked, thankgod,thankyou.

You might think I'm angry but I'm smiling and calm.

I love best friends that schedule things for other best friends, like Taylor is doing for Kimber. I do.

1. Clean my room, tonight. It's a bit of a mess and a cat has thrown up in my closet but you see, I am God, it'll be easy.

Audrey, Disney Scene-It is here!

2. Do homework/missing work, once again find my paper de passsword/username because I'm a loser like that, in the way that I lose things. Not basketball games though.

3. Get some money for holiday shopping. (Get-rich-quick scheme 1: nada.)

I love holiday shopping. I don't understand how people hate it. I think it is one of the best parts of the holiday season. Materialistic? Probably. But some things do make me happy, that's my right. That's my perogrative. But I've got this bass line...

LOSE YOURSELF! (Loser.) You had it coming.

And what person is this in? 1,2,3 Or E. All of the above.

Yes, I am installing the Zune Updated Software, Yes, finally, after months of clicking "Remind me later," Yes I'm awesome.

4. Buy Zune USB cord, for where has mine gone? With the cowboys?

The generation that emerged from a shithole. That's just the way my mind works. Can you hate someone for that, I don't think so.

If you type a sentence one letter at a time is it more sincere? Thus, presents my argument for having sex before marriage.
I'm not backspacing in the blog post, except when there are typos. It's a self-correcting live-feed of my brain. Like the book, but minus the adcertisements.

Zuneware has been successfully installed! I wonder what this means for my life!
You know something is newly installed when you find it on my desktop. I like to hide my virtual things I guess. That sounds so creeper.

I've got a lot of feelings, maybe the answers lie in these brain-feeds. Can that be our new blog name? Brain-feeds? Maybe I'll do it myself and see how you feel about it?

Things I'm Pretentious About:
1. Music. I am so proud of the music I like and listen to. It's redic. Pride and prejudiced. I like when Elizabeth tells me I know "every freaking song," I think of it as a talent.
2. Books. I feel the same way about books as I feel about music. I just have to own them.
3. Politics. I think I am pretty snotty about being a liberal. Snotty? No. Just, in these matters, it's one of the few things I really think I'm right in. I don't mean to, and sometimes I feel bad, but I guess that's just me.

I think that's it. Maybe no?

All other things I am unabashed. Good word.
I might go sleep with Emily? I can't sleep, I'm not tired, I'm thinking constantly. If only I could turn my brain-feed off.
So sci-fi.
"I'm just visiting." Where will the future take us?

I am so afraid of physical memory dumps, they need to stop, and they need to stop now!

Maybe I'm excited to go dancing with myself? But I don't mean masturbate, I mean shopping. More holiday thinking? I think I think more this time of year. Maybe it's the spirit?

What time is it there? Are you tired? Are you scared?

How long will the blog be here? Will I regret asking that?

I might go sleep with Emily, in her tiny, uncomfortable bed. She's amazing.

"It won't translate." What all is lost in translation?
Feeling?

I hope to never have to accept that it's over.
I'm smiling.

I think it can always be made right, I just don't know how.